gym neighbors

… it’s gonna make you sweat till you bleed … is that dope enough indeed …

I’ve been hitting the gym again lately. “It’s about time,” I hear you saying, and I totally agree. It’s paying off in a number of ways — feeling more energetic, wearing some of those older clothes that I’d grown out of, and the odd towel that I’ve accidentally walked out of the place with. On the flip side, laundry and showering frequency has gone up.

I’ve been a member of four different gyms in my life, and like always, I find the people that go there to be infinitely interesting. I have headphones on while I’m there most of the time, so I don’t have to listen to the crappy music they pipe through the place. It does mean that I don’t tend to talk to to many other people, but there’s plenty of different characters to observe. Here’s a sample of the visitors to my current gym:

  • the guy who never works out: he wanders around, talking to whoever will listen, while he avoids the equipment.
  • the girl who means business: she powers through her eliptical workout like a mad woman, making fools of anyone who might try to keep up. She’s a machine!
  • the guy who looks like Danny Ainge: he comes in and reads the paper while he rides the stationary bike. Nothing exciting, he just looks like Danny Ainge.
  • the girl who brings her bag with her: instead of hiding that ugly, bright green bag in a locker, she carries it everywhere she goes, like her life depends on it.
  • the guy who wears the same thing every visit: I’m no fashion plate, but this guy wears the same windbreaker and silly pink hat-like thing on his head every day. In this case, he’s also the guy who never works out, so I would have thought that someone might have mentioned it to him. I’m hoping he washes them frequently, I haven’t gotten close enough to find out.
  • the people who need a good supply of towels: one towel per session seems to be the norm, but these folks have to drape a towel over every surface that they touch. The most I’ve seen in use at any one time was five on a stationary bike: one over the seat, one over the back-rest, one over each arm-rest and one over the handles and display.
  • the overweight personal trainer: this just seems a little odd to me. He seems to sweat more than his clients, and they’re the ones working out.
  • the mirror people: they spend more time looking at themselves in the mirror than actually working out. At the very least, they have to work out only in areas where they can gaze on their reflection.
  • the seniors: there are a bunch of them that come in for an 11am aerobics class. It’s great to see them being active, but make sure you don’t arrive or depart at the same time, as the parking structure is a nightmare, full of cars moving at snails’ pace with their turn signals permanently on.

And then there’s me. If someone else was writing this, they might have an entry like this for me:

  • the flash in the pan: these are the people that don’t go to a gym for a long time, put on more pounds than they’d like, then in a moment of clarity, decide that it’s time they off-loaded some junk from the trunk. They hit the gym like maniacs for a couple of months, then disappear just as quickly, only to re-surface a year later to repeat the sequence.

I’m hoping to break the cycle this time — no, not literally!

4 Replies to “gym neighbors”

  1. hehe, good one. never had a gym membership in my life, i’m one of those ‘non-commital’ ones 😉

    seriously tho, the idea of working out on machines and whatnot while going nowhere is not my thing, would rather be out there actually going somewhere. having said that, the reason i get up @ 5am to run is so that nobody sees me huffing and puffing like an uncoordinated idiot. i figure when i get ‘good’ i’ll stop the torture and run at a more sane hour

  2. Did you finally find a gym that serves Newcastle?? If so, I’m in.

    I’ve had a membership to a gym since before marriage. I tried to go to a spin class when I was in your neck of the woods. You know I’m not a racist person, but something about being the only white guy in the place wasn’t working for me. It could have also had something to do with the class ending up sounding like a church revival or maybe it’s just that I’m inherently lazy.

    I am getting tired of that jiggle whenever I move faster than a crawl. Damnit. At least I hear the scenery at the gym around the corner is much better. Now to find the time.

  3. hahaa…. I’m so “the girl who means business”. I don’t even look at other people. I go in, sweat hard (elliptical is my preference in fact, but I also do weights), do abs, stretch & leave! 🙂

    Good to hear you’re back in there. I too have months where I’m more on top of it than others – but the last 30+ days have been kick ass… going a consistent 4x/week or so. It feels good!!

    Oh & ya, LOVE my Shure headphones to block out the crap they play.

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