out damn spot

… so move your car … I think it’s best for you right now …

There’s an interesting phenomenon here in the US. It appears that some people believe they are more important than others. These same people seem to suffer from a type of blindness. Medically speaking, they are unable to see a parking space when it’s right in front of them.

Go with me on this. You’re driving into the parking lot of your nearby grocery store — it happens in most places, but this is a common meeting place of these poor blind souls — and you turn down the lane that runs alongside the front of the store. It could be 3pm or 3am, it doesn’t matter, but there in front of you is at least one car, parked right in front. It’s not in a spot. It’s parked alongside a red curb. It’s parked in what is known here as a “fire lane”. And there is always someone inside. They won’t let everyone leave the car because they know that what they are doing is wrong. The worst bit? They don’t care! There’s an empty spot thirty feet across the lane, 2nd space down on the right, but do they park there? No. They are delusional, somehow believing that the space right in front is reserved for them. Do they park close to the curb in this area? No, of course not. So now, the two way lane is now left wide enough for one car at a time.

OK, so there are people who need to be dropped off and collected from right in front of the store — handicapped people, elderly folks, injured. But laziness is not a valid reason. Arrogance is not a valid reason. Driving a luxury SUV is not a valid reason. You are not better than us, learn it now and save yourself heartache later in life.

I sometimes wish I carried one of those car boots in my car, so I could sneak up, lock it on a wheel and then go do my shopping.

“Oh, sorry, did I inconvenience you?”