… hey… why didn’t you call me … I thought I’d see you again …
I went out on a date a while back with a really nice girl, a doctor, in fact. She was interesting, friendly, and very nice on the eyes as well. We chatted the night away over a few frosty beverages at a pub that she’d picked out, and then I walked her to her car. I told her I’d had a great time and asked if we could get together again. “Sure,” she replied. “I’m going to Atlanta for the weekend, but next week for sure.”
I gave her a call on the Monday night and left a message. No response. I tried again on Wednesday night. Again, no response. I didn’t hear anything for another week, so I sent her an email to let her know that I understood that she wasn’t interested, but that a simple “thanks, but no thanks” would have been appreciated. That got a response.
“Now I feel like an ass,” she wrote. “I was trying to save your ego.” There was more, but that’s the gist of the email.
Hmm, so instead of simply telling me that you weren’t interested, you decided to leave me in the dark for a week, and make me wonder what you were thinking. And, just how does that save me from taking a hit to the ego? My thinking is that she thought it would be uncomfortable for her and for me. I’d just rather know. People need to learn how to communicate, especially where relationships are concerned. We’d only been on the one date, so it wasn’t a big deal at all. Maybe it’s just me, but I like to be up-front with people, and let them know the situation.
I met a wonderful girl about a week later, so I was actually glad that the doctor put the kibosh on me.
The questions remain however. If you don’t like someone after a first date, do you tell them straight away, or let them work it out for themselves when you don’t contact them? And is one way better on the ego than the other?